5 Things mums should never say to other mums!


Okay so being a mum isn’t always a walk in the park. Actually its quite similar to attempting to climb the biggest, rockiest mountain there is and constantly feeling like you’re nearly at the top only to fall 100 feet back down! I’m in my mid 20’s and for me the journey to fit into motherhood had been a tough one to say the least. I always imagined when I’d  become a mum I’d roll with the coolest mums in town, always meeting up for coffee and play dates. I’d have a group of women around me that totally understood why I look a wreck some days and why on others I’d rather hide from the world. Instead my encounters with other mums haven’t been as successful as I’d imagined! Who knew other mums could be so unwelcoming and judge-y? Its not until you become a mum that you realise its like being back at school, you know the film mean girls? Thats exactly what its like, cliquey as hell! The mummy world has certainly taught me a lot, here are my top 5 things mums should never say to other mums (well along the lines of)!

1. Oh count your blessings you might have 2 kids but its not as hard as having 4 like me!

These people are what I like to call toppers! They thrive off of trumping others in ways to make them feel a little more victorious. Toppers tend to act like they know it all and because they feel like they have a rougher time of it than anyone else they need to express that at every given opportunity. Basically don’t have a conversation with a topper because you’ll feel like shooting someone after!

2. Ooo look at me, I can fit back into my pre pregnancy size jeans only a week after labour!

Oh great good for you, thank you for rubbing my face in your ever chiselled abs! You can clearly see my love handles drapping over the sides of my leggings (because I’m still too plump to fit into any type of jeans)! I might look as if I’m smiling and praising you like the goddess you think you are but inside I’m gritting my teeth wondering what your intentions are. Its as if you’re trying to remind me that I immediately need to get myself signed up to a gym, its not a bloody competiton!

3. Are you breastfeeding then? Ooo and co sleeping you should definitely do that! Who leaves a baby to sleep on their own!?

Don’t make your own grave before the friendship has even started!! Me, I leave my baby to sleep on his own and no I’m not a monster for it! I’ve had him clung to my side all day you’d think I’d be allowed to do something as simple as sleeping on my own! As for Breastfeeding just don’t ask. When I wack out my boob or a bottle you’ll have the answer you’re so desperately waiting for! I don’t need you expressing your thoughts on the ‘right way’ to parent when I’m trying to enjoy a cup of hot coffee, unless ofcourse you want me to accidently trip up and spill that coffee on one unexpecting, opinionated mother?

4. I can do all this, this and ALL this in one day with minimal sleep, don’t worry maybe you’ll get there one day!

I really haven’t the time for your constant bragging! Well done you’re a supermum who can accomplish everything and anything in one day and I can just about muster going to the shops with two kids, but maybe one day I’ll be more like you… At this point I’m trying not to roll my eyes at you, whats actually getting me through the torture of having a conversation with you is thinking about wanting to burn a hole through your soul with my death stare!

5. Are you sure you don’t have post natal depression?

No I don’t have fucking post natal depression and why do you suddenly think you’re a health professional?  PND is a serious condition that may I point out, should never be diagnosed by anyone but a doctor! I’m feeling a little stressed out adjusting to all the new changes that come with having a new baby, plus I’m on minimal sleep so if my mood seems a bit off give me a break!! Is there a condition for prying, know it all, self entitled mums like yourself?

Disclaimer – None of the above situations have ever resulted in violence nor would I recommend it… Yet!
This is a lighthearted, sarcastic post! If you’re one of those people that thinks ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ or you simply can’t see the light hearted side to my post you know where to go!

xox

127 Comments

  1. LaaLaa (@LaaLaaMonroe) September 20, 2016 / 10:06 am

    I’m not a mum but I can see how these things would wind someone up – it’s pushing opinions or bragging especially the way they put them across it can wind you up x

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 10:08 am

      Oh absolutely!! Honestly its a teeth gritting experience!

  2. Kaz & Ickle Pickle (@IcklePicklex) September 20, 2016 / 10:06 am

    All so true – I did giggle at the first one as I have four children lol! I was 25 having my first and 41 having my last. Great post! Kaz x

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 10:08 am

      Haha!! Awwww thats awesome though a nice big family, I always dreamed of having loads of children but after having 2 its safe to say thats enough for me!!

  3. Stephanie Merry September 20, 2016 / 10:13 am

    Very funny post, a lot of my friend’s are mums so I can relate to this! Thanks for sharing x

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 11:56 am

      Glad you enjoyed it 🙂 feel free to direct them this way haha

  4. Jessica September 20, 2016 / 10:14 am

    Not a mother myself but man I can imagine the annoyance coming across one of these people!

    More people need to read this! Thanks for sharing!

    Jessica
    Foodandbaker.co.uk

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 11:58 am

      When you and James pop out some babes you’ll relate so much!! Haha glad you enjoyed the read! Xoxoox

  5. Tanicici September 20, 2016 / 11:40 am

    This is probably the reason I dread going to play groups at the community centre. I do leave there feeling like the most inadequate mother. I do sometimes believe that mother as you describe above are in themselves insecure and do these things to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately for us it is at our expense. Tania xx

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 11:59 am

      Oh girl I can relate so much!!! I stopped going to play groups a long time ago they are unhealthily one of the worst places I’d want to be with my children!!

  6. Caroline September 20, 2016 / 11:49 am

    A million times yes to number three. I’ve had people ask if I’m embarrassed to be bottle feeding, my answer was always a firm no!

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 12:04 pm

      Urgh its atrocious isn’t it!? Breastfeeding use to be a thing that only poor mothers did and it was seen as a classist thing now its all the rage!!! I bottle fed my first and breastfed my second but I don’t favour one over the other! As long as the baby is fed who’s to criticise!?

  7. Rebecca Smith September 20, 2016 / 12:15 pm

    Yes to all of these. Its so frustrating to hear these from people sometimes – we parent how we choose to parent not how they tell us too x

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 12:44 pm

      Exactly!! These are just my own personal expereinces but I’ve spoken with many people who feel the exact same way. Its a shame its that way but makes for a funny post like this one haha!

  8. Zara Lewis September 20, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    Absolutely agree!

  9. InTheShadeIvory September 20, 2016 / 2:15 pm

    The most honest parenting post ive read in along time,i loved reading this!I know you’ve written it in a light hearted,jokey way but my god they are all true.I’m surprised you didn’t mention the old facebook,buti guess the first one seems to cover that point,everyones always trying to out do each other.Its one reason i dont do facebook anymore,too much hassle.X

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 3:03 pm

      Ahhh I know right! Yeah even though this is light hearted and so sarcastic it is true and I just hd to write about it! Facebook is a bit of a buzz kill for sure, apparently this post is ‘bitchy’ and ‘mum shaming’ well maybe to the people who do the things I wrote about, everyone else seems to agree! Haha!

  10. Alyssiarose September 20, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    I’m not a mother myself so haven’t had to deal with any of these specific things, but I have dealt with some of these kinds of people, I don’t know why women feel like they need to be in competition with one another, it really annoys me!

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 5:08 pm

      Oh me too!! Its grating I’m not sure why women like competition so much, if we all empowered one another wouldn’t life be so different?

  11. flowerpowerlife September 20, 2016 / 4:57 pm

    I’m not a mum but I can see what you are getting at – glad I didn’t have to experience it.

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 5:09 pm

      Haha you’re one of the lucky ones in that way!

  12. Milly (@whoismilly) September 20, 2016 / 5:28 pm

    I’m not a parent but can see how annoying (and rude!) these are. People basically telling others that their way to do things (be it parenting or anything else) is the ONLY way really sucks!

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 7:18 pm

      Oh it really does!! Just do things the way you do things and shh about it haha!

  13. Mama, Eden & Me September 20, 2016 / 7:50 pm

    Oh she’s standing up? You’ll soon regret that!

    REGRET IT?! I’ll REGRET my child hitting milestones?! *punch^

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 7:53 pm

      Hahaha!!! Ridiculous what people will say right?

  14. Rachel September 20, 2016 / 8:32 pm

    I am not a mum but I can imagine most of these are really irritating x

  15. jojo140883 September 20, 2016 / 8:33 pm

    I’ve had so many people ask me if I’m breastfeeding – er, it’s none of your business! I haven’t joined any ‘Mum’ groups yet as I just can’t stand the thought of being judged by other Mum’s x

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 2:08 pm

      Safest bet!! I mean there are nice mums out there but they really are hard to find!!!

  16. MELANIE EDJOURIAN September 20, 2016 / 11:11 pm

    Lol, great post I found this quite funny. I have 3 mini ones, I know mums that are toppers and others that judge everything you do. You shouldn’t worry about them just do what feels best for you. You will find mums that you gel with eventually 😉

    • cheskaaanels September 20, 2016 / 11:44 pm

      Awwwh thanks glad you enjoyed the read!! Well I entered the parenting world 4 years ago and still on the hunt for a nice bunch of people to gel with but I’m optimistic haha!

  17. Rhian Westbury September 20, 2016 / 11:36 pm

    I am not a mum but I can completely understand why these things would be the worst to say x

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 2:06 pm

      urgh they really are the worst! However I have heard some pretty crazy stuff!

  18. wha2wear September 21, 2016 / 11:06 am

    I’m not a mom, but I was really curious to know these things, useful stuff to know haha x

  19. soulsensecoaching September 21, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    I am also not a mom but i can just imagine these kinds of things being said. You sound like a great mom and your best is good enough! How is that as an alternative?

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 2:05 pm

      Awwww thank you!! Well my children are very happy so if thats anything to go by I’d have to agree with you there 🙂

  20. Sarahjane Wood September 21, 2016 / 1:42 pm

    I don’t have any experience of motherhood but from stories I know there is definitely no incorrect way of parenting so comments like these should really be avoided

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 2:04 pm

      Absolutely! You’d imagine in a perfect world how you parent your children is your own business but there are so many opinions and judgements that fly around these days!

  21. Miranda (Anosa) September 21, 2016 / 3:06 pm

    I am not a mum yet but it such a scary world out there that I hear a lot about. Mums should be supportive not nit picking at one another.

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 3:26 pm

      Thats true its a shame it happens but it does and more often than not!

  22. Megan Ogden September 21, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    Preach on girlfrie! Your kids, your body, your mind, NOT YOUR BUSINESS!

  23. Jolina September 21, 2016 / 7:43 pm

    Ok. I’m sorry, but #2 made me laugh a little. Though on a serious note, after my sister gave birth I had to ask if she thinks she might have PND. We had a little talk and worked out her issues so no, that did not lead to violence.

    • cheskaaanels September 21, 2016 / 8:36 pm

      See its different with family because it shows you care about them and you know them well enough to see if they are acting differently etc but some people really do ask to get one up on you!

  24. laurahartleyy September 21, 2016 / 7:56 pm

    Ergh I can imagine the sort of mums you are describing and they are they most annoying people in general >.<

  25. Liz Mays September 21, 2016 / 8:29 pm

    These are definitely some touchy subjects! Sometimes it’s good to just let other moms be and stop judging.

  26. fashionandstylepolice September 21, 2016 / 8:29 pm

    Fab post. We all have different parenting ways so some comments can be rude.

  27. Claire'scomfycorner September 21, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    I’m sure my sisters would agree that mums shouldn’t judge other mums.

  28. Nikki September 21, 2016 / 9:17 pm

    Im not a mum but I can really understand why these would be irritating! Just keep doing what you are doing lovely xx

  29. Elizabeth O. September 22, 2016 / 5:02 am

    We should really stop comparing and treating motherhood as if it’s a competition. Instead, we should be able to support each other without judging or questioning what each one is doing. In the end, we’re all moms who want the best for their kids.

  30. Annie Brooks September 22, 2016 / 7:53 am

    I haven’t had children yet but honestly some comments Mum’s tend to make are crazy! It’s so judgemental. Seems like you have it all sorted!

  31. Naomi (@naomijr) September 22, 2016 / 9:28 am

    We women should spend more time supporting each other rather than knocking each other down, sadly it is not often the case!

  32. Elizabeth September 22, 2016 / 9:51 am

    Yea, I agree with you – those are some pretty awful things to say/hear! I must confess I found parenting a lot more difficult when I was in my mid 20s compared to now (I’ll be 40 soon!).

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 10:09 am

      I find fitting into parenting with other parents hard at this age because people will treat younger parents in a different way which is unfortunate but the parenting itself I love. I feel like as I get older I’m personally going to have less energy I hope not but I fear I will!

      • Elizabeth September 22, 2016 / 4:42 pm

        it does get easier. They become more self sufficient and suddenly you’ve got more time for yourself again. 🙂 Personally I just avoid other parents. Saves all the hassle. 😉

  33. motherofthecircus September 22, 2016 / 10:18 am

    I think I’ve heard someone say all of these to me over the last few years. Xx

  34. Elanor September 22, 2016 / 10:27 am

    Great post! I must admit, I’ve been guilty of saying variations on a few of these things, so I will think twice from now on! 🙂

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 10:47 am

      I also understand that not everyone says these things to be spiteful, sometimes people don’t realise how we might be effected by them.

  35. Ashleigh-Jayne O'Connell September 22, 2016 / 10:40 am

    Wow… People actually say these things? I’m not a mother but I do find this shocking. At least you can take it with a pinch of salt and make it funny!

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 10:47 am

      Exactly 🙂 I’ve learned to ignore it now!

  36. Dannii @ Hungry Healthy Happy September 22, 2016 / 10:46 am

    I am about to be a mum for the first time and I have all this to look forward to. Women really should be supporting each other!

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 10:48 am

      Oh goodness, well I welcome you to the mothering world!! Haha! There are nice mums out there, hopefully your experiences will be much different to mine!

  37. thenaomiruth September 22, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    Wow this article was so on point! I became a mum just before i turned 24, ive been through most of these things. Mums can be so stuck up and judgemental at times. I wana write a blog post about being a young mom now xx

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 1:52 pm

      I feel like young mums get treated much differently which is ridiculous to me! I mean it use to be the way to do it back in the day how things change!!

      • thenaomiruth September 22, 2016 / 4:12 pm

        Yes like we are dumb just because of our age

        • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 4:15 pm

          Yes! There is definitely a stigma around young parents! I think most people assume young parents are taking benefits and not too bothered about life but it couldn’t be any more opposite for most of us!

  38. Jessica Ayun September 22, 2016 / 1:23 pm

    Not a Mum but I heard some of these lines when my Mum’s friends gather in our home. Haha. Should warn them next time? haha

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 1:53 pm

      Hahaha perhaps direct them this way! Xox

  39. Mellissa Williams September 22, 2016 / 1:44 pm

    It makes me laugh when I hear things like this. Why people think they know what it is like in your shoes as a mum is beyond me. Every child and every situation is different but everyone is an expert.

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 1:55 pm

      I wish it was different but people love to place themselves in others business nowadays, its strange because people are offended by everything nowadays you’d think they’d have more common sense not to say silly things!

  40. lastchance3 September 22, 2016 / 4:38 pm

    I’m not a mom, but if someone said those things to me, I’d probably smack them. If you did to moms who said that to you, no judgment.

  41. Georgina Ingham | Culinary Travels September 22, 2016 / 4:53 pm

    Totally agree with these points. As soon as you have a baby everyone seems to think they know best or need to compete in someway. Every parent and baby is unique.

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 5:13 pm

      Isn’t hat true! Honestly most times it feels like a competition and like other mums say things to be spiteful and get get up on you. I avoid them now as I’ve learnt to deal with it!

  42. hannahhowell912 September 22, 2016 / 5:34 pm

    I over hear these things in the playground at drop off times. I’d give someone a whack if they said any of these to me haha

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 6:19 pm

      Urgh at drop off!!? Its so bitchy, literally any chance they get!

  43. Rosie Corriette September 22, 2016 / 7:13 pm

    Yes Yes Yes!! I particularly hate ‘toppers’ as you call them – I have one daughter, and everytime we manage to get somewhere on time, do something etc I’m often met with ‘well it’s easy for you, you only have the one’ – so frustrating!!

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 7:41 pm

      Hahaha so frustrating!! Its hard no matter how many children you have we all know the struggle!

  44. Charli Bruce September 22, 2016 / 7:31 pm

    THIS! Its all so true… I’ve always avoided other mums and the school playground just simply because of mums like this! The only mums I actually am friends with are my friends that I have been friends with since we were kids and we all hate these mums too. My poor friend was telling me the other day how she was out to coffee with one of these mums from her daughters playgroup and she was having a go at her for not having another baby yet and was talking another mum into having her fourth… Like WTF?!

  45. Our Little Organic Life September 22, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    I’ve never had any of these things happen to me…thankfully! I won’t say it wasn’t totally obvious that all my mummy friends were back in their size 8 jeans a week post partum and I’m still striving for a 12 a year and a half on…sigh. But no one has rubbed my face in it (to my face). But then I had my daughter in my late 30’s and thankfully I do live in a neighbourhood where there are a lot of older mums as well, which is a nice support. When I had my daughter I remember thinking “I wish I’d started having babies years ago…this is the best thing ever!” so you’re blessed getting to enjoy the experience while you’re in your 20’s. I do wish that you weren’t experiencing such unpleasantness from other mothers though. That’s sad and disappointing.

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 11:10 pm

      It really is but I really enjoy being a mum at my age and the kids seem to love it too from what I can tell anyway!

  46. Rachel September 22, 2016 / 9:55 pm

    Yeah, I wouldn’t be best pleased if anyone said any of those things to me. I can imagine them all been said though! xo

  47. Sarah September 22, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    Oh my gosh I relate to this so much.
    Mum’s can be so cruel. It’s like they have a baby and automatically know everything there is to know about being a mother, and what is right. Well saying that, some people who aren’t even mums!

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 11:11 pm

      Oh yes especially those that aren’t!! Its irritating! I can’t (and can at the same time) believe how many people have said they can relate to this its a damn shame!

  48. joannavictoria September 22, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    This is so true. I’m the youngest out of my group of mummy friends and there is one mum who says her kid can do this, do that etc which my son can’t do yet and makes me so annoyed.

    • cheskaaanels September 22, 2016 / 11:13 pm

      Yeah I’ve had mums that have compared my kid to theirs and made it a competition with who could walk first! You can tell these people don’t have much going on in their lives can’t you!

  49. Eloise September 23, 2016 / 4:14 am

    some people right?! if they only put themselves in other peoples shoes then they wouldn’t be so clueless and bite their tongues… oh well, give a fake smile and nod while you picture yourself punching them and then laughing your evil much haha laugh… just kidding! liked this post : )

    • Eloise September 23, 2016 / 4:15 am

      … evil muah haha laugh…. (that dang spell corrector sometimes!)

    • cheskaaanels September 23, 2016 / 7:25 am

      Hahahaha!! Glad you enjoyed it and thank you! Xox

  50. thingssarahloves September 23, 2016 / 7:12 am

    I’m not a parent myself but even I’ve heard mums say these things to each other!

  51. fabfood4all September 23, 2016 / 9:13 am

    Oh no, I would say you’ve been very unlucky with your mum “friends” nothing like this ever went on with my antenatal friends, we were all just like lost sheep trying to learn from each other.

    • cheskaaanels September 23, 2016 / 11:29 am

      I’d have loved to have that experience!

  52. Rose Sahetapy September 23, 2016 / 3:37 pm

    Why do many women forcing them selves to lose their weight in a short time after giving birth is beyond me. I didn’t know mums can be that challange.

  53. Ana Ojha September 23, 2016 / 9:47 pm

    I don’t have kids but most of my friends have kids and they always irritate me with the one question that when I’m planning to have kids? I believe that having kids is not only the ultimate aim of getting married! 🙂

  54. dearmummyblog September 23, 2016 / 9:53 pm

    Hahahaha! This made me giggle. My mummy knows one or two ‘toppers’ it’s impossible to have a conversation with them!

    • cheskaaanels September 24, 2016 / 8:32 am

      Hahaha isn’t it just! One day… Maybe!

  55. Georgia September 23, 2016 / 10:12 pm

    Love this post! Very true and honest! I’m in my late twenties and still feel super self conscious talking to other mums. My daughter turns 3 in November and I’ve only just put her name down for Nursery but not before the other day mentioning it to another mum and the horror on her face was ripe!!! She snapped at me saying “all the good places will go” ” best to get their name down early” .. Makes me so nervous for the clicky mum’s at nursery!

    • cheskaaanels September 24, 2016 / 8:33 am

      Ahh its frustrating sometimes! I don’t let those mums bother me now, tune then out! Haha

  56. melissazia90 September 24, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    Totally agree with this post, too many times people give unwanted opinions

  57. janella2016 September 24, 2016 / 11:45 pm

    I totally love this post. Sometimes we don’t think before we speak or know what the other mum has gone through before we make comments

  58. thiskenyantraveler September 26, 2016 / 8:52 am

    Lol number 2 cracks me up. Great post for everyone to read actually

  59. Claudia H. Blanton September 26, 2016 / 11:28 pm

    you are so correct, saying these would be totally mean! Blessings!

  60. jenny October 7, 2016 / 9:36 am

    I think I’ve experienced all of these too. I was so unprepared for the other mums. Now I just drop my kids at school and run!

  61. Stressed Mum October 8, 2016 / 11:23 am

    I think we have all experieneced these and more, never understand why some Mums have to try to out do others x

    • cheskaaanels October 8, 2016 / 12:53 pm

      Exactly! Its a shame it is that way but unfortunately it seems to be a part of motherhood!

  62. cattitudeandco October 8, 2016 / 1:21 pm

    Some people just don’t have a clue, do they? It seems you’re not alone though by looking at this comment section!

    • cheskaaanels October 8, 2016 / 1:54 pm

      Hahaha it would seem that way! I know which I’m kinda glad about knowing its not just me but also so disappointed about!

  63. Angela Milnes October 10, 2016 / 11:35 am

    I totally agree with this! Everyones experience is real and unique and some things just don’t need to be said.

  64. Cydney Helsdown July 31, 2017 / 6:24 pm

    I can completely relate to all of this! It can be completely isolating as a new mum and I hope you find a group of supportive friends ❤️

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk August 1, 2017 / 9:27 am

      Its actually a shame that people can relate!! Hope you do too hun and glad you enjoyed this!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *