How To Spot A Fake Friend!

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Life is a funny thing, we’re taught right off the bat that making friends is the thing to do, well you can’t go through life without friends right? The only thing about making friends is how do we determine wether the people we are building those relationships with are genuine, nice, likeminded people? No matter how much you get to know someone, how much you have in common with them, there really is no telling how genuine they are; that is until they fuck up! Sometimes I wish this would happen sooner rather than later. I hate wasting time on the wrong people, I hate creating friendships with people who can’t and won’t understand me, I hate that friendship isn’t so much more straight forward! I have had a series of bad friendships, now looking back on those I’m not so open and trusting towards others anymore. I’m much more weary and to be honest this has effected my ability in making new friends and building new relationships. Luckily for you I know the tell tale signs of a fake mate, and here they are for your own benefit so you can determine who’s the bitch to ditch!

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Criticisers

Watch out for those ‘friends’ that constantly criticise you. It could be the littlest thing from your lipstick choice to the new shoes you just brought, or it could be a big thing like your sexuality and who you’ve fallen for! People who constantly find ways to put you down and make you feel crap about yourself have no space in your life, they don’t want to see you happy, they definitely don’t want you to succeed and God forbid looking prettier or like you’ve made more effort than them. People who feel threatened by you will make you feel like you’re worth nothing, they’ll constantly throw hurtful, questionable comments your way & find something to criticise.

Users

You’ll identify a fake friend if you often feel used by them. These guys are only your friend when they want something from you or out of you, they can quite easily go without seeing or talking to you for months on end but as soon as they require something you’ll get a random text or phone call. These people don’t even care about how you’re doing because its all about them, if you can’t help them they are prone to start acting stroppy with you or  completely stop texting you. True friend?

Guilt riddlers

These ‘friends’ will try to make you feel riddled with guilt in the event that you can’t see them or commit to a night out. They often ask you out last minute expecting you to drop all your plans, family or chill time just to make them happy. These are the classic ‘world revolves around me’ types and they expect you to follow suit because you know, your life doesn’t matter! You might want to just enjoy a day in, no makeup, pjs on and a big chill but don’t tell them that because they’ll fly off the handles telling you how crap a friend you are! No, remember at times like these you have your own life and you’re entitled to do whatever the fuck pleases you!! Don’t allow someone to guilt you into spending time with them, you won’t enjoy it anyway!

Gossipers

‘Don’t tell them I told you but…’ does this sound familiar? We all like a good gossip but when someone is constantly exposing other peoples business and digging someone out I think its safe to assume they are probably doing the same to you! Be careful what you tell these friends because someone like this won’t hesitate to write a tell all book about you and use it against you! These ‘friends’ are untrustworthy and cause more drama than you’ll see in Eastenders. Watch out!

Self Seekers

Ever had a ‘friend’ not invite you to certain things because ‘well you was too busy to hang out with me the other day’? If you feel miffed off for not being invited somewhere thats perfectly normal, these friends will make out that its all your fault when actually they just didn’t have the courtesy to be a real friend. Even if we can’t make something it always nice to feel welcome and get an invite to begin with, no one wants to see all their friends hanging out together through photos on Facebook and wonder what they’ve done wrong. P.S you haven’t done anything wrong, your so called friend is just being cruel!

xox

74 Comments

  1. Katherine Williams November 11, 2016 / 11:55 am

    This is amazing!👌🏻 I was friends with someone for 7 years, and all of a sudden I realised she’s constantly put me down and made me feel so stupid all the time…. then I cut her out my life🙅🏼 At uni there’s so many people who use you as a ‘convenience’ and it drives me crazy😩

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 1:13 pm

      Its such a shame that girls can be so cruel!! Why be that way with someone, to put them down all the time says a lot about their character! I bet you feel happier now having cut them out of your life!

  2. Tanya November 11, 2016 / 11:57 am

    Ahh! I love this. I would rather spend my time doing things I like than be friends with these people. Fake friends also don’t care about you genuinely. Like they will never be genuinely happy for you.

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 1:14 pm

      Exactly!! They don’t want to see you succeed at all and they will try to ruin things for you!

  3. vickislettersfromtheheart November 11, 2016 / 12:05 pm

    Hi Hun,

    I had a ‘friend’ who now looking back did a lot of the things listed above…I cut her off last year as it was the last straw for me and even then she acted like it was me who had done something wrong!

    xx

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 1:15 pm

      Hahaha I know that situation pretty well!! I’ve had many friendships like it but I’m such a bad judge of character I assume everyone is nice because what reason do they have to be horrid!?

      • vickislettersfromtheheart November 11, 2016 / 1:23 pm

        Im exactly the same, I’m nice to everyone so don’t understand why I get treated so badly, but the way I see it now is it’s their loss and not mine

  4. fashionmommywm November 11, 2016 / 12:27 pm

    Think I have had all these sorts of friends at one time or another. The truth is a real friend can be frank with you, doesn’t need you to live in their pocket and will always be there for you, no matter what.

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 1:19 pm

      Same here!! Its horrible isn’t that people think its acceptable to treat others that way!

  5. LaaLaa (@LaaLaaMonroe) November 11, 2016 / 12:44 pm

    Oh I’ve learnt through life how people are and can spot those fake friends and you made some great points x

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 1:19 pm

      I wish I could! I’m a bad judge of character so often just assume everyone is like me, just nice!!

  6. GALINA V November 11, 2016 / 2:41 pm

    We’ve all probably encountered people of these categories at some point in life. The best thing you can do is avoid them. Life is too short to waste it on frenemies.

  7. Milly Youngman November 11, 2016 / 3:30 pm

    I’ve definitely experienced some of these – being able to spot the signs of these traits before the friendship develops too much is really helpful, I find.

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 3:32 pm

      Yes, easier to spot once they have already happened to you.

  8. Rachel November 11, 2016 / 6:46 pm

    I loved reading this and it can be used so for many life issues, but definitely great for fake friends x

  9. jojo140883 November 11, 2016 / 6:47 pm

    I literally have about 5 real friends due to a lot of the reasons you mention above. My husband always reminds me it’s quality not quantity that counts and he’s so right x

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 7:54 pm

      Ahh yes mine does too!! I have very few now but I guess it happens doesn’t it!

  10. Rachel Palmer November 11, 2016 / 7:59 pm

    I feel like I’ve finally rid myself of the last fake friend last year. I don’t even know why she kept me around because in the end it became clear that that bitch hated me l

  11. Fiona Maclean November 11, 2016 / 8:17 pm

    I think there are more fake friends around than most of us realise. And I think sometimes THEY don’t realise. Great article

  12. alanaperrin November 11, 2016 / 9:00 pm

    It’s funny how as you grow older you realise it’s far better to have a handful of true friends.

  13. Sarah Bailey November 11, 2016 / 10:05 pm

    It is so hard to sometimes realise people aren’t the best they could be when you are close to them. But sometimes the best thing is to walk away.

  14. The Kats Paws November 11, 2016 / 11:07 pm

    I have had a lot of people in these categories and it’s hard but better off without them xx

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 11:37 pm

      Yes for sure! Don’t want to be friends with a faker!

  15. vicky hall-newman November 11, 2016 / 11:24 pm

    I am so sharing this, we live in a small town where everyone seems to be fake

    • cheskaaanels November 11, 2016 / 11:37 pm

      Hahaha I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed this!

  16. Elizabeth November 12, 2016 / 10:57 am

    Human interactions are not easy. I try and avoid them if at all possible, if I am to be honest, lol! I have a handful of people I call close friends and have been so for 18 years or longer, so that’ll do.

    • cheskaaanels November 12, 2016 / 11:46 am

      Awwh thats lovely I wish I had friends that I’ve had for years and tears but sadly most have ended up in these categories!

  17. ayeshafarhad November 12, 2016 / 3:26 pm

    This post hit home so hard! I have had my share of fake friends all my life! People who used have used me, people who were only with me when they needed a shoulder to cry on! and the first one is so apt! I was told I was not of a good character cuz I talked to so many guys. its just horrible!
    Though now I still love making friends, I don’t come as near as to effect me emotionally. its horrible.

    • cheskaaanels November 12, 2016 / 8:28 pm

      It is isn’t it. People can just be cruel for no real reason sometimes!

  18. Teresa at RockspringsCrafts November 12, 2016 / 4:01 pm

    Fake friends can drain your energy and even make you suspicious of the motives of true friends. It’s best to cut them out of your life as soon as possible.

    • cheskaaanels November 12, 2016 / 8:30 pm

      Yes agreed! You’ll be happier after!

  19. Leah Lander-Shafik November 13, 2016 / 11:35 am

    This post is awesome! I have to say in my life things made me realise who were the best people to keep in my life and those I have to get rid of. It’s very cathartic x

  20. hannahhowell912 November 13, 2016 / 12:21 pm

    Love this post! There is nothing worse than a fake friend x

  21. Rhian Westbury November 13, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    Great post, sadly I can relate to quite a few of these but when you get a bit older (and wiser) you learn to realise it’s about quality not quantitiy with friends x

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:49 am

      Yes absolutely I have less friends than I can count in one hand and IK’m pretty okay with that!

  22. MELANIE EDJOURIAN November 13, 2016 / 9:07 pm

    Great post, I have learnt the hard way how to spot fake friends and it wasn’t fun x

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:48 am

      Oh so true!! Its awful being so cynical and distrusting of people but because of the so many people that are like that unfortunately they ruin it for the rest of us!

  23. Jessica November 13, 2016 / 11:52 pm

    Omg this was such a good read! Everything I’m just nodding to here on the train and screaming “PREACH IT GURL” in my head! Truthfully, this is why I have about a handful of proper friends and I’m happy with that!

    Loved this, thanks for sharing! Sucks losing friends but it’s usually for the best!

    Jessica | foodandbaker.co.uk

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:48 am

      Awwww so glad you like it so much!! I agree I think I have less than a handful of friends because I’d rather protect myself and my family now!

  24. Anosa November 14, 2016 / 5:49 am

    It is always sad when you seat back and think about some of your current friends only to find some fall in the categories you’ve mentioned

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:47 am

      Exactly Its not nice to think but unfortunately people are like it!

  25. dadbloguk November 14, 2016 / 7:08 am

    Friendship to me is about loyalty. I have noticed as I get older (now I have kids etc) it is more difficult to keep friends. As for fake friends, not time for them!

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:46 am

      It should be a done thing I feel happier after!

  26. Stephanie Merry November 14, 2016 / 10:59 am

    I’ve had ‘friends’ like this before, but thankfully managed to spot the signs and get rid of them! x

    • cheskaaanels November 14, 2016 / 11:45 am

      Oh thankfully! Glad you know how to spot them!

  27. nicol November 14, 2016 / 12:34 pm

    at first, pretty sure we’re always in denial but as you grow up, you learn and spot it. it’s better having a small circle of friends who you can trust and rely on

  28. Kaz & Ickle Pickle (@IcklePicklex) November 16, 2016 / 10:16 pm

    Great post – I have had a few fake friends who were not who I thought they were. It is a painful thing to go through. Kaz x

    • cheskaaanels November 16, 2016 / 11:44 pm

      It is but better to have our eyes opened aye!?

  29. Bek Dillydrops November 16, 2016 / 10:57 pm

    I used to have many circle of friends but nowadays, I only have one or two close friends. And I don’t even see them very often.

  30. dillydrops November 16, 2016 / 10:58 pm

    I used to have several circles of friends but now I only have a few close friends.

  31. Leeshastarr November 19, 2016 / 6:22 am

    Great post! I am a very good judge of character and I can normally tell when someone is a fake friend or giving backhanded compliments

    • cheskaaanels November 27, 2016 / 12:55 am

      I know its a real shame and so depressing but they help you grow and later on in life you know what to avoid!

  32. onthepage November 26, 2016 / 10:44 pm

    Oh! This is too relatable! I’ve been “used” several times at school (recently) and hate it. Whats the point in pretending to be a friend right?! … Lovely post! x

    • cheskaaanels November 27, 2016 / 12:56 am

      Exactly!? Its draining, I don’t know what these people get out of it!

  33. Nadia January 2, 2017 / 8:07 pm

    I think we all have come across all of those types of “friends” at some stage in our lives. Actually 2016 was one of those years for me when I realised it was time to let some people go. As simple as that. Not easy to do but it is the best for yourself in a long run. Guess when you reach certain age you also get tired of bull crap, jealousy and whatnot. It’s great to keep those around who genuinely love you and cherish you <3
    Great read! Really enjoyed it, lovely.
    xox Nadia
    http://www.mielandmint.com

    • cheskaaanels January 2, 2017 / 8:14 pm

      Oh I totally agree!!! I have also had to cast people out of my life and it’s refreshing more than anything especially when they do nothing but bad! Xox

  34. Ana De-Jesus January 5, 2017 / 11:11 pm

    God I hate people like that. I had this friend, lets call her A and she always made me feel horrible about myself. She didn’t have any other friends and would criticize and look down on me. I was close friends with her boyfriend at the time and she accused me of sleeping with him, called me names and was horrible. I gave her a second chance and then she sent me such violent and abusive messages ( because she was jealous of my other friendships) that I terminated the friendship for good x

    • cheskaaanels January 6, 2017 / 12:08 am

      Oh wow that sounds so toxic!!! Its horrible that we find ‘friends’ that are so bad for our wellbeing! Glad you got rid and saw that she was a terrible friend!

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