Social Media – When the spark just isn’t there anymore

Social media is intrusive – at least it can feel that way a huge chunk of the time!

We live in a time where the internet has taken over and social platforms are basically life!! However sometimes being in the thick of it 24/7 can really take its toll. I was always a Facebook kind of girl, that was until I started blogging and joined the world of Twitter, I previously had Twitter accounts but never really enjoyed using them since I found it to be a really negative platform! Anyway jump a few years into the future and there I am again on Twitter, everyday, barely using Facebook anymore. Turning from one social platform to another hasn’t completely changed my outlook on it as a whole though, it can be quite an unpleasant place to be sometimes. Taking time out and having a much needed break from social media has become a welcome thought and something I tend to do as soon as I’m feeling its getting in the way of actual real life!!

Here are 4 warning signs that indicate you need to take a break from all forms of social media ASAP…

You become obsessed with your following!

Only within the last year and a half I’ve become one of those I don’t give a shit kind of people, although sometimes my old thoughts and feelings of negativity come flooding back and social media has a big part to play in that! I find myself acting out of character as I become consumed with the social buzz – who’s unfollowed me today? I’ll think as I open my followers app, only to feel let down and disappointed that 30 odd people have unfollowed me on Twitter or instagram, some of them I follow back, some of them have tweeted me recently and we have engaged in conversation and I’m left wondering why?! Why did they unfollow me? What did I do wrong? Did I say something offensive? – This is 100% I-need-a-break-from-social-media behaviour!

Recently a bigger, more well known blogger unfollowed me. We’d engaged in conversations before, I’d included said person in my tweeted lists of inspiring bloggers, continuously showed my support for them and I thought we’d get along well if we had the opportunity to meet in real life. I was confused about being unfollowed and I was stuck wondering if I’d done something wrong! Its pretty sad to say but this was one that really bugged me and sadly I let it effect my entire day! I took a days break from social media after that, able to return with a clearer mind, positive attitude and my I don’t give a shit mantra well in tact! I mean not everyone will like you, not everyone will understand you, people unfollow and thats not a reflection on you. There are tons of reasons for someone to fuel their urge to click the unfollow button, all of which (after taking a Twitter time out) I no longer care about!

The bitch bug is getting you down!

See social media sometimes brings out the worst in us – our insecurities, our wanting to be liked, our need to feel accepted and sometimes as seen regularly on my timeline the bitchiness of others! I think it goes unsaid that you’ll find bitchy behaviour anywhere and everywhere on the internet! The thing is that when its on your timeline you can either choose to ignore it, let the bitchiness pass and carry on as normal or let it anger you so much that you constantly find yourself caught up in a social media bitch war. I’m more inclined to go for less stress option myself!

Bitchiness happens no matter who you are or what you do for a living/hobby! Opinions differ and for some reason people are more prone to let that fuel an argument and ruin friendships than they are to accept we all have our own opinions, whatever happened to friendly debates? Sometimes I’m quite shocked by what I see on my timeline, other times I think an argument thats broke out could have simply been avoided. Regardless of how you look at it, negativity attracts negativity, so when I constantly see fights break out and the bitch bug growing ferociously I start to feel really shit about being on social media, and as a bid to save my positive energy from turning sour I switch off for a while and later return to a timeline thats well and truly over all the bullshit!

You’re not being social IRL!

I’ll admit I’m much more social on Twitter than I am in real life, be it my social anxiety, fear of awkwardness or feeling exhausted there is something about social media that makes socialising and making friends so much more easier there! Admittedly social media has its perks i.e. making new friends you wouldn’t have otherwise met, or knowing a group of people that follow you are interested in what you have to say. BUT social media can also make you anti social without even realising!

Quite often I feel like I’d rather sit at home on Twitter in my pjs than go out for drinks with a friend, because on social media I don’t have social anxiety, I’m able to think of what I want to say and sass it up by using a shit ton of gifs, whereas a conversation with someone in real life can lead me to a place of awkwardness and silence! – Absorbing yourself into your timelines and avoiding real life relationships can be detrimental to your level of confidence and your self esteem in the real world! To build real substantial relationships and friendships you need the real life aspect too, you can’t solely rely on the forces of social media to do all the work for you!

You might not notice but social media can effect your other real life relationships if you’re becoming more and more engrossed in your timeline and less interested in spending time with friends or loved ones. I have a pet peeve when meeting up with friends who sit there constantly checking their phones, messaging and scrolling through their timelines, like HELLO is my company just not cutting it for you? I genuinely start to really dislike spending time and making effort with those people and its all because social media gets in the way of a good old fashion catch up!

Something fucks with your mental Feng Shui!

The internet is infinitely huge and because of this there is no telling what you might come across especially on social media! To one person sharing that post about some idiot who killed their animal out of spite might be their idea of spreading awareness that cruelty to animals is still alive, to someone like me however thats fucked me up and I can’t stop thinking about the awful scenario! Its not their fault, the person who shared it, but its made me want to be cautious on my timeline, its made me feel sick, and its definitely messed with my calm, positive mental attitude! This is prime time to step back from your socials and allow yourself to have that much needed self care time.

A little social media break always does me some good. I try to steer clear of negativity in any shape or form because I know how much it can effect me and as a mum I want to be able to parent with a happy state of mind. If you find yourself being effected by any of the above scenarios my advice is to just switch off!! Have a social media blackout and resume at a later date.

Happy scrolling!

xox

 

66 Comments

  1. Elodie May 22, 2017 / 11:34 am

    Social media’s changed so much in the past few years, it’s good to sometime take a break and remember this is just online profiles for show. Not having 90k followers doesn’t mean you’re not incredible in real life!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 2:22 pm

      You’re so right!!

  2. StressedMum May 22, 2017 / 11:40 am

    I think I am in a minority really, as I remember life before social media, I do love social media for meeting new people (I have some amazing friends on my personal accounts that I would never have met normally). But seeing people unfollow you can hurt, and there are some people out there who will follow to get a follow back and then unfollow as soon as that happens. I look at social media as a platform to meet new people, blogs and communicate, if people want to follow me great, if they don’t then so be it.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 2:23 pm

      Yes I agree!! I’ve made so many friends from social media! Just a shame it can be a downer at times!

  3. Ariadna May 22, 2017 / 1:25 pm

    Social media can be either a wonderful or awful thing depending on how it is used, it’s so easy to be negatively influenced by it though! It’s important to be aware of our self-worth regardless of how many likes we get or followers we have!! x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 2:24 pm

      I absolutely agree and thats why sometimes a well needed break is so worth it!!

  4. Gareth Torrance May 22, 2017 / 5:20 pm

    Social media has become such a huge part of society, it’s almost depressing… The amount of people who go on Facebook to chat to someone in the same room is stupid!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 5:25 pm

      Yeah you’re right, I can’t disagree!! I remember when the internet first came around, was so different then!

  5. Natasha Mairs May 22, 2017 / 5:39 pm

    I like to follow fellow bloggers but I hate it when the unfollow me, for no reason at all. It makes me paranoid and ruins my whole day. I have even sometimes had trouble sleeping because of thinking about it too much

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 9:58 pm

      It can make you really anxious can’t it! Thats the downfall of it but also if we see that in ourselves we just need to pick ourselves up and try not to take offence!

  6. Ana De- Jesus May 22, 2017 / 5:50 pm

    I am sorry to hear that blogger who you had interacted with unfollowed you and sad that it affected your day. You are right though social media can be damaging. I have these days sometimes when I wish I had a bigger following because I feel like I deserve it but then again these things do take time! x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 9:59 pm

      They do indeed!!

  7. Sarah Bailey May 22, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    I have to admit I don’t really do social media well – I know as a blogger I should, but I don’t like people to know what’s going on every second, and I don’t really just talk to blank space as you should.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 9:59 pm

      Thats absolutely fine though! Like I said itcan be intrusive!

  8. Deborah Nicholas May 22, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    i hate this side of social media, the whole follow unfollow is so demoralizing 🙁

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 10:00 pm

      It can be tough!

  9. Mummy Times Two May 22, 2017 / 9:54 pm

    I think the effect that social media has on us is a lot about how we think about and view it. It can be both very positive and very negative.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 22, 2017 / 10:01 pm

      Yep exactly how I feel! I love it but need a break once in a while!

  10. MELANIE EDJOURIAN May 22, 2017 / 11:06 pm

    I get upset easily I am way too sensitive so it would have bugged me too if I was in the same situation as you were. There are some great positive things on social media but also way too much negativity and it’s hard to just brush things off. I follow loads of bloggers on tw but notice that many tend to unfollow straight after I follow them. I hate that it’s just rude as far as I’m concerned.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 12:14 pm

      Yeah the follow unfollow trend is really annoying!!! Happens to me all the time

  11. Whatlauraloves May 23, 2017 / 1:31 am

    Urgh I know the feeling of getting fed up with social media. I hate that part of blogging is needing to get likes and almost like validation from others!! xxx

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 12:14 pm

      I totally agree!!

  12. Renna May 23, 2017 / 3:10 pm

    I like to have a break every now and then otherwise…. I’m literally on twitter for hours. It’s just so addictive and constant

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 8:12 pm

      Yes it is!! Its good to break away and feel a sense of normality!

  13. Melanie May 23, 2017 / 3:38 pm

    you are so right and this article is fab! Social media is intrusive and can deffo takeover, as hard as it can be sometimes you need to shut down the computer, turn off your phone and relax without social media getting in the way 🙂 x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 8:13 pm

      Yes yes yes I totally agree!!! Its nice to relax without socials getting in the way!

  14. Anosa May 23, 2017 / 3:57 pm

    I guess this generation, social media and internet has a great impact on people these days. Still we need to disconnect with the internet world for the meantime.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 8:14 pm

      Absolutely! Its so important to not be on it all the time!!

  15. Stephanie Merry May 23, 2017 / 4:38 pm

    Completely agree with you! It’s the reason why I find myself wanting to have social media free weekends x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 23, 2017 / 8:15 pm

      That sounds like such a great idea!!!!

  16. Emma jones May 23, 2017 / 10:23 pm

    I hate that I am so addicted to it..and yet most of the time I Am just bored of looking at the same stuff! However on the other ha d with what happened last night it can prove indispensable. It’s a tough one!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 24, 2017 / 12:36 pm

      Agreed although When things like the events that have rocked us all I’ve seen some people act absolutely disgusting and bitchy over social media so sadly to me you’ll always have both the good and bad of social media!

  17. Dannii May 24, 2017 / 2:38 pm

    It has changed so much, hasn’t it. The minute I stop posting for me, is the time to come off social media I think.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:19 am

      Itsure has!

  18. angela milnes May 24, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    I feel you and me really really love the ideas and off to Social media during weekends, Social media would stress me most of the time and I need more sleep during weekend

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:20 am

      Yes weekend idea is great!! Definitley need breaks here and there!

  19. Ashleigh May 24, 2017 / 4:24 pm

    I try not to stress over social numbers, but I am trying to spend less time glued to Twitter, reading what everyone’s doing. I’m trying to improve my IRL social life!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:21 am

      Yeah me too I’m planning more catch ups and meets with friends I think its easy to forget but so beneficial!

  20. Tanya Brannan May 24, 2017 / 11:09 pm

    All I have to say is “Amen”
    I have been a slave to social media over the last year, worrying about increasing my following, getting the best pictures, finding perfect locations.
    For what? The odd comment or like.
    I know I have missed out on so much by putting so much emphasis on my SM
    I need to stop worrying about it NOW

    Thank you xxxx

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:22 am

      OMG I totally agree!! Somestimes ai can get so wrapped up in my blog and social media that I just need to step back, especially as a mother!

  21. Candice Nikeia May 25, 2017 / 1:55 am

    These tips are an awesome wake-up call! I love what you said about not being social in real life. I have to be careful of that for sure!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:23 am

      Yep I think thats one that everyone can relate to in a way!

  22. Holly Shannon May 25, 2017 / 9:54 am

    It’s weird, I definitely care more about my Twitter stats than I do my Insta stats, but not particularly bothered about either, if you get what I mean? xx

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:23 am

      Yeah I understand that! Its not something we should get really funny about!

  23. Yaya May 25, 2017 / 10:03 am

    Spot on! Social media can take over and it’s just not good for people’s mental and emotional health. I have begun considering SM an extension of my blog and consider it more of a business type of interaction, and that helps me detach from taking it personal. x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 10:24 am

      Yes I totally get that!! Whatever helps you to have the break or not spend so much time on there is a good choice!

  24. Emily Leary May 25, 2017 / 2:55 pm

    I think everyone has their ups and downs on how they view social media – taking a break and getting some perspective can do the world of good.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 2:58 pm

      Totally agree!

  25. nicol May 25, 2017 / 3:49 pm

    i use to be obsessed with numbers but learnt to not give a damn about it years ago as there’s more to followers than numbers. these days, i don’t use twitter as much, it’s probably because i see bitchy comments, silly arguments, people proving they’re right etc. i’ve always stayed away from blogger arguments as it’s not my thing to get involved

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 9:54 pm

      Yeah I agree and it really can be that way hence the needing a break now and again!

  26. Crystal Santoría May 25, 2017 / 4:15 pm

    Loved this. I think follow stalking is speaking to me. I get really consumed about followers on Facebook. The other sites are just personal so it doesn’t bother me. I agree that we have to not let the moodiness of others get us down especially when it’s directed to us. The best part about that is the DELETE button. DELETE and block kind sir. I don’t have time for that negativity having, I’m PMSing having, type of drama. That’s when I just break free and live life then come back to the internet. It’s better that way. Thanks for the post.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 9:56 pm

      Awwh so glad you enjoyed it!! Social media is tough, its hard work for sure sometimes!!

  27. Nayna Kanabar May 25, 2017 / 5:26 pm

    Social media has taken up like a storm, people are on it 24/7 . I think its a good way to connect and make new friends and show your presence to brands too but it should not take over your life. As for people unfollowing I never get upset as I always think that those that unfollow you are not worth having in your friend list any way

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 25, 2017 / 9:56 pm

      Thats a great way to look at it Nayna and I’d have to agree!

  28. Kimberly May 25, 2017 / 11:17 pm

    Ireally liked the first part of your post about becoming obsessed with your following, I agree that if it changes your mood then you need a break. I wrote a post similar to this a few months ago about unplugging from social media and since that time I have really learned balance between social media for my business/ blog and being present it real life. The points you made in this post make me wonder if the older generations are right about millennials not knowing the value of human connection in real life.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 26, 2017 / 10:34 am

      Thank you!! I think there is a correlation there, social mediahas taken over its used for absolutely everything, you can only become detached if you spend time away from it all!

  29. Baby Isabella May 27, 2017 / 12:06 pm

    Totally agree that social media really gets in the way of living life. My mummy has ditched it for a couple of days and felt better for taking a step back. She used to obsess about the numbers game, but her blogging is not her job, just her hobby so she needs to put things into perspective x sounds like you have x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 27, 2017 / 6:57 pm

      I agree with you so much!!

  30. Charlotte May 28, 2017 / 9:08 pm

    Social media can be really draining. I try to keep mine at an arms length.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 29, 2017 / 10:34 am

      Yes I’ve been like this all week!!

  31. Lubka Henry May 29, 2017 / 10:26 am

    I also take breaks from social media anytime I feel it’s taking too much of me. Great to see your thoughts on this too.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 29, 2017 / 10:35 am

      I think its best that everyone does this once in a while at least!

  32. Olivia May 30, 2017 / 11:10 am

    Awesome post, this is so relevant to how I’ve been feeling, you worded everything so well and inspired me to take social media breaks more often.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk May 30, 2017 / 2:40 pm

      Awwwh I’m so pleased you enjoyed it!! Its so relevant to me right now!

  33. Louise June 1, 2017 / 11:31 am

    I have to be honest and say I only use social media when I’m in the mood for it. I can’t be dealing with using it for the sake of it (if that makes sense). I’d rather take a break and then I find I come back feeling so much more sociable than before 🙂

    Louise x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk June 3, 2017 / 9:19 am

      Yeah I totally understand that for sure!

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