A History Lesson On My Love Of Makeup

All my life I’ve been a real girly girl except for that time when I reached the awkward age of around 7-8 and decided that I was suddenly interested in football and swore that I hated all things pink, its like a right of passage, doesn’t every girl go through that at some stage? Anyway, my tomboy days were brief, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t like pink anymore and suddenly all my glittery pink things were back again. See for as long as I can remember I’ve always been obsessed with makeup, hair and beauty, you’d catch me not only cutting my barbies hair but my own too! I’d sit transfixed watching my mum and my older sister do their own makeup, much to their annoyance, but I was fascinated, I knew once I was old enough to wear makeup (which wouldn’t be till I was a teen) I’d be in my element!

I’ve come a long way since I first started wearing makeup, when my mum died I didn’t have anyone to teach me how to wear it and my older sister and I didn’t have the nice relationship we do now with each other, so learning how to use makeup has been something I’ve taught myself over the years. As silly as it may sound to some, makeup is like an art form to me, It allows me to be really free and creative. I’ve always been more of a creative person than an academic one. When it came to art, performing arts, dancing, textiles, I always excelled in those areas but watch me in a math class and you’d see the life being sucked out of me as I struggled to understand how X = 125.

I’ve always wanted to take makeup further, for a while I thought about doing a makeup and prosthetics course that could kick start my career but courses aren’t exactly affordable. Youtube has been a huge part of my makeup journey, I’d sit watching tutorials for hours and practise on myself over and over, I still love watching a good tutorial now! Another part of my obsession with makeup came from being bullied throughout different parts of my childhood, I’d constantly be compared to my daintier, prettier friends, made to feel inadequate and was taunted over my bush like brows (which I now tame to perfection). Those occurrences lowered my self esteem what with being a teenage girl – Having boys say hurtful things damaged the way I saw myself, suddenly what I thought was normal ie. my hairy arms, weren’t normal for everyone and I was made to feel weird and ‘ugly’ about them, and there were many more of these occasions! Doing my makeup, perfecting my brows, it all makes me feel good about myself and fulfills the interest and desire I’ve always had for it!

Day to day I use makeup to enhance and highlight my features. I fill in my brows so they look fuller because my natural brows are patchy as hell from all the frantic over plucking I did growing up. I apply mascara and have LVL lash treatments so I can have longer looking lashes because personally I prefer my eyes that way. I slightly bronze parts of my skin because I’ve often heard that I look unwell when I’m not wearing any. I sometimes like to add a pop of colour to my lips because it makes me feel confident and changes things up a bit. When I wear makeup I’m doing it for me! I’m allowing myself to feel a lot more confident than I did when I was makeup free by matching up to my own beauty ideals. The common misconception I face when wearing makeup is that I must be doing it for someone else, I must be trying to impress other people and their beauty standards but it’s not about them! The beauty of makeup is that you can use it in so many different ways pleasing to your own style, your own preference, its a form of expression as well as just a beauty tool and for me its also a feel good thing!

I can admit that I don’t go out of the house without wearing makeup, why? Because I don’t feel as happy in my bare skin as I do when I’m wearing makeup. People can tell me I look great without wearing makeup but what other people think doesn’t change how I feel about myself, so I put that makeup on and allow myself to feel great again!

Most days when I’m at home with no plans and no prospect of seeing another human I’ll still wear makeup. I like to walk past my reflection and like what I see staring back at me. When I make no effort and I’m makeup free I don’t feel that way, I don’t feel happy or positive and mentally thats something I battle with. I’m very open about the struggles I have with my self esteem and the way I perceive myself, I’m not ashamed of it, its something I live with. When I’m not wearing makeup I feel as though it draws more attention to me in public and I’m not one to like the spot light when I’m out and about. My anxiety really kicks in at times like these and I feel like people are staring at me, pointing and whispering, but when my makeup is on I just feel like a normal person able to go about my day.

I’m getting better at learning to love my makeup free face, but my love of makeup goes beyond whats on the surface, I’ll still be wearing it when I’m old and grey!

xox

34 Comments

  1. Sarah Bailey September 22, 2017 / 5:07 pm

    It sounds like you have come so far with your love for makeup and it is awesome you have used YouTube to try and hone your skills more.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:00 pm

      Thank you!!!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:00 pm

      Aww thank you I do love this one!

  2. Jessica September 23, 2017 / 11:25 am

    Girl you are stunning and I’m forever in awe with how well you do your make up – every time I see you, you’re always on fleek! I’m not one who has a big love for make up but I do admire it from an arts point of view. The only form of make up I wear are my eyebrows but girl you need to teach me and you have Defo caught my attention with your eye lashes!

    Jessica | http://www.foodandbaker.co.uk / http://www.foodandbakertravels.co.uk

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      I’m obsessed!! But glad to hearts paying off haha!! Meet up soon!

  3. Sally Akins September 23, 2017 / 3:36 pm

    I think make up can be a great way to boost your self esteem, and if you enjoy wearing it then why not! 🙂

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:02 pm

      I absolutely agree!!

  4. Joanna September 23, 2017 / 4:11 pm

    I do love wearing make up its a great way to be creative and boost yourself esteem. I definitely feel I could learn a lot more about make up application though.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:03 pm

      Exactly!! Application is forever changing what with new products etc you’ll eventually find your flow with it though!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:04 pm

      It definitely does for me I know that!!

  5. Elodie September 24, 2017 / 3:40 am

    You’ve gone such a long way! Makeup can mean so many different things to many people, none of which is bad, just different. I personally love to wear it to boost my self estime and I actually enjoy the whole ritual of applying make up.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:04 pm

      Yes girl, you sound just like me!! I love makeup always have and its such a big confidence thing for me!

  6. Anosa September 24, 2017 / 12:38 pm

    I must admit my tomboy phase lasted longer than most girls but glad I am now more girly than tomboy and though I don’t particularly like makeup I don’t mind it. It certainly has different effects on different people

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:05 pm

      Awwww thats amazing though, we all have a stage where tomboy kicks in and for some it never leaves and thats so cool too!!

  7. Lynne Harper September 24, 2017 / 7:29 pm

    I am now at a point where I won’t go outside without it, I really enjoy it and love experimenting x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:06 pm

      I’m the same!! Its just that I don’t feel comfortable like that and thats okay too!

  8. Louise September 24, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    So sorry to hear about your mum. I was 17 when I lost mine and no matter what anyone says it really affects your soul. To hear you used make up as a way to feel good is so lovely. I am 44 and make up wasn’t the biggest thing when I was young it was permed hair and hairspray lol! I love how younger generations can really teach us older ones a thing or two! Would love to let you loose on my make up bag!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:08 pm

      Awwww this is such a lovely comment!! Thank you!! and so sorry to hear about your mum too, its so sad losing a parent so young but its how we cope after right!? I also love how then generations change in whats hot and whats not its definitely come a long way since perms haha!

  9. Olivia Thristan September 24, 2017 / 8:31 pm

    I love beautiful the pictures are in this post. I was going through stages where I wouldn’t leave the house without make up EVER even to go down the road to the shop. I’ve recently learnt you can be beautiful and confident without wearing it all of the time. I love the idea of make up being for ME and no-one else.

    Lovely written post! x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:09 pm

      Awwww this is beautiful!!! You absolutely can be beautiful without makeup I totally agree its just that for me I prefer my face with it on and thats when I feel my best!! Well done for starting to go out with none on you are a braver woman than I!

  10. Joanna September 24, 2017 / 9:41 pm

    If wearing make-up makes you happy and it boosts your self-esteem then you shouldn’t listen to what others may say and simply wear it all the time. We only live once and if we would pretend to be “normal” (whatever that means) then we wouldn’t have any joy.

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:09 pm

      Thank you!!

  11. Helen September 24, 2017 / 9:43 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and the bullying, teenage girls can be so awful! It’s great that make-up has been such an important part of your life, boosts your self esteem and that you love it so much. You look gorgeous so all the tutorial watching has definitely paid off. I’m hopeless at make up, luckily my daughter is obsessed with Youtube tutorials too so she can help me out!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:10 pm

      Oh teenage boys are a pain too!! In fact it was mostly by boys! Thank you so much what a lovely thing to say, and I’m pleased its noticeably paying off!!

  12. five little doves September 25, 2017 / 11:43 am

    Oh you look beautiful! Your make up is flawless! I only wear make up on a night out, I’m not overly good at it though!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:11 pm

      I sometimes wish I didn’t depend on it so much as its a right hassle some mornings but its a huge part of me!

  13. Baby Isabella September 25, 2017 / 12:22 pm

    My mummy needs to hone her skills more and its about not getting stuck in a rut and trying new things. Sounds like you’ve come a long way… well done x

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:11 pm

      I love trying new things with makeup absolutely!!!

  14. Kacie Morgan September 25, 2017 / 4:01 pm

    I have wondered about what lash treatments are like before – it’s good to know they work!

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:11 pm

      Couldn’t recommend the lash lift enough!!!

  15. Cassandra September 28, 2017 / 7:00 am

    Gorgeous! You look so good! I also was bullied so I can relate >_< I also used to be the person that wasn't able to leave the house without make up but I'm slowly becoming more confident with being makeup free 🙂

    • francescaferrarinelson@yahoo.co.uk October 5, 2017 / 2:12 pm

      Thats amazing and well done for giving the no makeup look a try!!

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